Life in Brazil

something i found on pinterest.........

Source: 30.media.tumblr.com via Shelly on Pinterest

 

here is the world.....beautiful and terrible things will happen.....don't be afraid.

I wish I could take credit for coming up with that title myself but it's a quote by Frederick Buechner which was featured in an article called "Creativity Heals" from the January/February 2012 issue of Creating Keepsakes magazine.

I was perusing the magazine when this particular quote just seemed to jump out at me and it seemed to sum up everything which had transpired from the last few days before my vacation right up to that present moment.

You see....my mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's the first week of December and she called me the day before I was to leave to go to the States for my Christmas vacation.

She didn't want to call.....yet my father insisted....because he didn't want to ambush me with this news upon getting off a plane after a 24 hour journey.

This is the news no one wants to receive......this is the kind of thing which "happens to other people."  Yet I was thankful she called because I needed to know what I was going home to......and yet at the same time I really didn't know what I was going home to......until I got there.

I'm not going to get into details.....but needless to say....behind the scenes I cried.....I got angry....and in front of everyone else I tried to "be strong".  I thought I could handle my emotions.......by either running away from or stuffing them.

Oh but Jesus is just too smart for all that......and after being home for one week I began to notice an underlying current of irritation just below the surface.....which was not behaving itself......but was fighting to get out.

So while my Christmas was one of the most beautiful and one of the most difficult I've ever experienced.....there........just under the surface.......the irritation continued.

I couldn't put my finger on it.....I found myself troubled by it and yet each time it tried to break free...it would be stuffed back into place leaving me all the more perplexed by it.

that is.....until yesterday.

Yesterday.......it broke out in all it's ugliness.....and I found myself pacing in my apartment....and in my mind I was saying...."Jesus....I can't do this......Jesus.....I can't do this.....Jesus....I can't do this....." tears free flowing.

and there it was........I can't do this....not in my strength......but Jesus can.

How many times do we fool ourselves or the enemy of our souls deceives us into thinking we can handle the tragedies of this life in our own strength??

How many times do I have to remember that Jesus is right there on the other side of the door with everything I need while I'm half-way across the room getting ready to open the kitchen cabinet to get my hands on what I think will help me cope with my inconsolable heart??

I can't handle the ramifications of what it means for my mother having Alzeimer's........yet Jesus can......

and right now in this present moment....that's all I need to know.

it's been a busy week.........

but it's been good........very good.

Last weekend we had our favela Christmas party with around 50 students in attendance.  Despite the rainy weather the kids had a good time playing group games, visiting, eating and some even won a few prizes.  Here take a look.....

Next up.....the reward store....

...and here we are in Ilha Bela ready for business.....

decisions.....

 

decisions........

 

decisions.......

 

Vila Esperança store.....open....and ready for customers....

 

Help.....I can't make a decision.....I want everything.....

 

I am so proud of this girl......Gabi is one of our new students and is doing so well that she puts some of our older students to shame.  Her mother has started attending our church...please be in prayer for them.

The reward store in a word was a......success.  Everyone enjoyed and when I asked the students if they liked it everyone resounded with an enthusiastic "YES!!"   Some even went as far as to say they loved it.  It was neat to watch the students spend their points not just on themselves but also on gifts for their siblings or parents. 

 This was my first year having the whole of responsibility for this ministry and I have felt it.  It has not been easy doing this alone...yet it has been a very positive year.  Menezes and I have been talking during these past few months and we are both of the consensus that we want to change and reform some aspects of the classes.  This is not to say that what we are doing is broken....it's just that after some observation I would like to improve upon what is currently being done.  I would ask for your continued prayers for this ministry as we consider the direction God would like us to take us.  Also I would like to say that without you what we have been doing simply would not be realized...so from all of us here in Brazil......

 

Thank you.....

 

Thank you.....

 

Thank you....

....and Thank you!!

this just makes me smile......

I was informed by my brother that the first Christmas gift under the tree at their house is for me.....from my neice Abby.  I love you too Abby and Emily....can't wait to see  you next week!!

Recovering from the weekend......Christmas party for my students in Ilha Bela and Vila Esperança....was a huge success.  I'll be posting some pics soon.  I spent this morning dividing the prizes for tomorrow and Wednesday's "reward" store.  Wasn't quite the same without Dave and Carol this time....but it's coming together.  Promise to post pics from all the events this week.

 

Do you still have a blog????

Well.......yes I do.......despite the fact that it's been almost 2 months since my last post.

Honestly there are various reasons for the long lapse which I will not get into at this moment...but needless to say it's been a combination of internal battles and the business of life.  My desire is to write more in depth about the struggles....battles....and victories as of late.....but for now some photos will just have to suffice.

Our Thanksgiving spread......Brakefield's and I spent the holiday together

Look at my four beautiful apple pies.....for Life English Center's special Thanksgiving event

Students and their parents came and were treated to an American Thanksgiving meal and program

Everyone enjoyed the food and fellowship

The students sang "Give Thanks" as part of the program

 

Next up........the craziness of getting ready for the Christmas Party for my students in Ilha Bela and Vila Esperança and the "reward store" for next week.

the problem of pain......

  

the problem of pain is......

Wait a minute isn't that the title of a book by C.S. Lewis?  While I haven't actually read The Problem of Pain it is definitely a volume I want to get my hands on so as to get some insight into what Lewis has to say on the subject.

Me?  Well I can't promise anything as remotely profound as Lewis what I can share is some of what God has been dealing with me about as of late.

Which in some part will explain my prolonged absence and silence on the web.  God and I have been battling through some difficult heart issues which have been buried underneath layers and layers of self comfort, self-protection, hiding and running.  Ah....there is nothing like being in a spiritual desert to expose the depths of what lurks in the recesses of the human heart and there is nothing like a loving God who won't leave well enough alone.

The problem of pain is.........we find ourselves in a world where pain is an everyday occurrence and we were never designed to have to live with this reality.  That my friends....is difficult for me to swallow....for I have had to live with more than my fair share of pain.  I know what it to be bullied, humiliated, mocked, rejected, lonely, used, abused and taken advantage of.  There isn't a single human being who doesn't know what it is to experience pain.  The question is.......what does one do with it?

The question of  the hour....what do I do with my pain?  I wish I could say I've always know the right way of handling my heart in regard to this....but as God has revealed I haven't.  You see after peeling back layer after layer I have come to realize that I believed the lies that I could actually manage my pain.....that I could hide from it.......run away from it. 

The truth of the matter is this:

I have said these things to you, that in Me you may have peace.  In the world  you will have tribulation.  But take heart; I have overcome the world.  - John 16:33

and....

For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin.   Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.  - Hebrews 4:15-16

Jesus knows what is to be clothed in human skin......He knows what it is to experience pain....He also knows what it is to be faced with the world's comentary(Satan's lies) on what to do with ones pain.  The world (Satan) would tell  you pain can be stuffed, numbed, escaped, and hidden from and you can pick what ever method works for you.  Yet Jesus says....."in this world you will have tribulation"....period.  We will experience pain.....and there is no escaping it......but what are we to do when we are faced with it....and it feels so overwhelming and the suffering so excruciating?  Jesus knows we are constantly faced with the temptations to "mishandle" our hearts....and he sympathizes with that temptation.  He, himself faced the very same temptations.....yet did not give in.  He says to us in those excruciating moments.....

 "Come here......and let Me give you what you truly need."

I know this because He has been saying this to me.  He has exposed my ways of trying to handle my pain.....to which He has revealed is a form of idolatry....because I dared to believe that I could deal with this reality of pain in my own strength........independent from Him.

Ours was never intended to be an independent existence.....and anyone who would dare suggest that it was is a liar.

So as we enter into a new week......may I ask how are you really and are you allowing Jesus to be the High Priest of your soul?

 

it's Wednesday......

 

and it's a holiday here in Brazil......actually it's their Independence Day....so I have a free day to do what I like...which is nice.

It's especially nice since as of yet I don't have internet at the apartment and not sure when I will as it turns out that the one internet provider is not so great with customer service.  Aaron Brakefield spent 25 minutes on the phone yesterday with them trying to secure the order to have it installed and was just about complete when he was cut off.  Needless to say by that point after numerous attempts he was a bit frustrated so back to the drawing board.

Cable...however...shall be installed in about 3 days and if I don't say so myself I did pretty good with conversing with the service representative who called to confirm the order yesterday afternoon...even though I hate talking on the phone because it is still quite difficult to understand people...I do much better with a "live" person.

So I'm here at the mission house surfing the web...at my leisure...which doesn't happen very often and I thought I'd post a few pics from the move.  I've been waiting for the moving company to come and pick up their moving crates which now 3 weeks later are still in 3 stacks in my apartment.  Yet I began thinking that I promised a post with some pics so I better do it.  So here a few and I'll do another one with more....after the crates have been promptly removed.

 
Outside my apartment building...I live on the first floor

 
My living room

 
One side of my kitchen/laundry combo

 
and the other....where do I dry my clothes, you ask.....that will be answered in another post

 
My bedroom

 

Well that's it for now.....I'll give a proper tour once the crates are gone....which I hope is soon.

Hope you are enjoying your day...where ever you are.

Well hello there.........

sorry for the long duration of silence......but I've been in a whirl wind of packing, painting, packing, cleaning, more packing, moving to a new apartment, unpacking, unpacking and unpacking.

Finally I think I have everything where I want it....just a few more shelves and things to put up on the walls and still waiting for the moving company to come a pick up the packing crates used to move my stuff.

Finally in my new place.....and loving it. 

And......did I mention how much better I've been sleeping?  Miracle of miracles...but it's true..so a huge PRAISE THE LORD!!

I'm planning a much bigger post with pics and all....however at the moment I don't have internet at the apartment (hoping to have it installed this upcoming week) so this short post will have to do....I didn't want to you all to think I'd abandoned my blog...nothing could be further from the truth.

So here's to "waiting on the Lord for His best"....and

have a wonderful Sunday where ever you are today!!

God's timing is perfect.....

 
 

How's your Friday??

Well as some of you know I have been having quite a time getting regular sleep.  I just want to say to those of  you who have been praying....thank you.  The past three nights I have been sleeping well and am hoping it continues.

Also, I want to say that this morning I woke feeling a little dejected and in need of some encouragement.  God is so good because in my inbox I received a message from one of my mentors and the words were indeed timely and very encouraging.  So I'm going to share Proverbs 3:13-26 here with you all.

Blessed is the one who finds wisdom, and the one who gets understanding,

for the gain from her is better than gain from silver and her profit better than gold.  She is more precious than jewels, and nothing you desire can compare with her.   Long life is in her right hand; in her left hand are riches and honor.   Her ways are ways of pleasantness, and all her paths are peace.  She is a tree of life to those who lay hold of her; those who hold her fast are called blessed.   The LORD by wisdom founded the earth; by understanding he established the heavens; by his knowledge the deeps broke open, and the clouds drop down the dew.  My son, do not lose sight of these-- keep sound wisdom and discretion, and they will be life for your soul and adornment for your neck.  Then you will walk on your way securely, and your foot will not stumble.  If you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet.  Do not be afraid of sudden terror or of the ruin of the wicked, when it comes, for the LORD will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being caught.

Find wisdom......get understanding.

A party = a bridge between 2 ministries......

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Supporters.......from brainchild to reality....thank you for making this happen.  We couldn't have done it without all of you.  Please be prayer for those who attended as we are waiting on the Lord to see the results from this party.