Exactly a week ago today I did one of the most difficult things I have ever done to date. I preached about following Jesus then I told my Brazilian church family that I was leaving them to answer the call of Jesus to return to the States. Since the summer of 2000 when I sensed in my heart and spirit that Jesus was calling me to follow Him to Brazil He has asked me to do some very demanding things. The calling to do these types of things hasn't changed.....however the way in which I respond to His calling has. I used to "freak out" at the idea of change or anything that would upset my "comfortable" little life I had created for myself. But God had to call me out of that life in order to expose my heart, my insecurity, my woundedness and my fear. He used Brazil to do that. Now when He calls, my response is less fear and more trust.
So this chapter called "Brazil" is coming to a close......in fact almost in exactly three months on December 17th Brazil will end and a new chapter will begin. The Author has indicated to me it's time to write new material and where the story will lead well.....that's up to Him. I will say this...my heart has been very heavy for the United States for the last four years. I have had a great burden for the spiritual condition of things there. My desire is to continue ministry in the Pacific Conference in some capacity. I am waiting on God's timing and leading. My hope is to use what God has taken me through and taught me to help other people. I still have much to say regarding God's healing in my life and I'm hoping for the opportunities to share these things. If any of you serve on committees that plan retreats or special church events and are in need of a speaker I would hope you would consider me.
This past week has been spent sharing my "news" with my students in Vila Esperança and at Life English Center as well as with other individuals. Needless to say people's responses have been the same.......wanting to know why I am leaving and expressing sadness that I will no longer be living here. I can't adequately express how difficult it has been to look into their eyes and see the sadness and disappointment. Yet I must admit....up until a week ago I was experiencing doubt about whether or not I had made any kind of impact here. You know friends, I knew exactly where that doubt was coming from yet it was hard shaking it off. It wasn't until God said to me in no uncertain terms that my time here had "not been in vain." Looking back at the responses of this past week has been the evidence of that fact. This process of sharing my news has felt like an "unloading" of this secret I was asked to keep. Physically I feel pounds lighter and as if a heavy weight has been rolled off my back. When you are asked to keep quiet about something for 14 or 15 months it can be difficult at best and excruciating at worst. This is part of the reason I have been silent here for the last nine months. When you are experiencing things for the very last time it kind of makes it hard to write about it so forgive me for my silence. Now that all of this is out in the open I can be more forthcoming about what I'm experiencing in these final months.
Before I sign off I want to take some space for some "shout outs."
- David Dormaier - for being God's mouthpiece and the first one to say, "Shelly, you should go to Brazil to teach English."
- Priscilla Lamm - for telling me that "missions could change my life" and physically putting that short term application in my hands.
- Duane Erickson - for taking a second chance on me after a disasterous first short term experience and continuing to believe in me when very few others did.
- Barb Sangren - for being that friendly voice on the other end of the phone and being like the big sister I never had.
- Shirley Roehl - for being that voice of encouragement and knowing when to push me when I needed an extra push.
- ECM office staff - you know who you are and your work in the office has been invaluable! Without you what I do simple would not have been possible.
- Luciana and Riva Rocha - I may not have lived up to your expectations the first time.......but you gave me a second chance and God has used it to His glory.
- My students in Vila Esperança (past and present) - it has been a privilege to have been allowed to be a part of your lives. I am so proud of your efforts. Keep practicing your English!! Love you guys!
- Students and staff at Life English Center - It has been a joy to be a part of this experience together with you. You all will always hold a special place in my heart. Keep learning and practicing your English!
- Vida em Cristo Church - My Brazilian church family you welcomed me and made me feel at home. You are my "Brazilian" family. You will always be close to my heart. Love you all!
- Friends and Supporters - Without you all I would have never made it to Brazil the first term much less this second term. Thank you for answering God's call to impact my life and the lives of those here in Brazil.
- My fellow co-workers - A. Brakefields, D. Warrens, D Kochendorfers and J Kochendorfers - I thank my God for the opportunity to have worked side by side with you all! You are more than co-workers you are family. I will forever treasure the memories of our time together.
- Yakima Evangelical Church - Church family you were there at the beginning and you are with me now at the end. Thank you for hanging in strong and being such a strong back of support during all these years away from you. I look forward to worshipping with you again in the future.
- My family - Thank you for trusting Jesus during this past decade as He deemed it necessary to take me to another part of the world to do something incredible! Your daughter, sister, sister-in-law and Aunt return to you a much different person. Thank you for trusting God through this transformation process. I love you!
- My God, My Jesus, My Precious Holy Spirit - To You and You alone be all the Glory and here's to the next chapter.....I Love You!!!!!
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